Natwerk Designs

Can Someone please correct this essay for me?

This is the Question:what are your ambiton and how does it relate to the course (business administration)and why do you want to study in Norway? please correct it for me i really need a good grade for me to be admitted in the Univeristy. I am very pleased to apply for this application opportunity given to me by your great university because of it's land mark,track record,the development of the social well-being of its student to the effect of the society at large and it's high quality of education that offers the opportunity of meeting,associating with people from all over the world.It will be of a great honour to be associated in your university. To me school is about life experience because it will give me a decent living and more knowledge.university is pretty much compulsory because it will open my mind up to the world around me and which will improve myself and make me more prepared for the future world career in promoting diversity. I am 22years old female candidate' from a developed country in the European region(Italy).I have applied to your university into Business administration because it has a whole lot of benefit to me and the public which play an important role in the society,i have developed interest in business since my secondary school years and i want to be successful in business project.All organisations in business today are able to stand the storm of competitive global market because of good business strategy informations.My dream is to become an expertise in the field where i am working as a successful business manager in the very next future,to take up challenges each time and to revive myself and add value to the company and constantly update myself with the latest technologies to move up in ladder and also to pursue a MBA degrees,i would achieve this through observations,practices,innovations and in dedication.furthermore my ambition is to work hard and gain more experience and win theconfidence of my company and to become the best professional in my field "i believe in hardwork",Moreover to develop skills required to fulfil my responsibilties toward the organisation thereby improving my efficency in day to day work towards building of efficient organisations with the efforts and involvements.I know it will also give practical entrepreneurial skills and to be able to handle my personal business in the future because i have a dream to operate my own business project/organization later in life in opening job opportunities for those in need.I will be very grateful for a dream come true that i become a successful business professional,and womanhood will also be grateful that an African girl can posses the quality skills and knoweldge in business administration,my reasons why i want to study in Norway is because studying in a foreign land is one of the best experience one can ever have in a life time to me Norway is a developed country and the universities have good facilities and environment for learning, it has a very rich history in which most of Norwagian universities are education free and also for foreigners who come from outside the European Union,Norway is simply the best place of rich culture and the degrees obtained are globally recognized with these few details i have discovered i know Norway its simply a country that opensdoors for everybody and it's wòrth-living.These are my ambitions in life and why i want to study in Norway. Thanks Vicky and Michele for the replies,well..is just that this is my first time of writting essay and i don't know how to construct it...so that is why i decided to ask for me..Vicky if you think that you can help me pls feel free to do so..thanks

Public Comments

1. Maybe you can work on it with an English teacher or mentor. It needs a lot of work.
2. I'm sorry. Michele is right. This needs an awful lot of work, and to be of benefit to you, it needs a lot of explanation detailing why it needs the changes. I would love to help, but it wouldn't be fair to you to just amend this without explaining the reasons.
3. I tried my best to translate it into more standard English. I probably changed the meaning of a few sentences by accident, though. You really should work with an English teacher so you can get your point across better. I am very pleased to apply for your great university because of its land mark, track record, the development of the social wellbeing of its student to the effect of the society at large, and it's high quality of education that offers the opportunity of meeting and associating with people from all over the world. It would be a great honour to be associated with your university. To me, school is about life experience because it will give me a decent living and more knowledge. University is pretty much compulsory because it will open my mind up to the world around me and will improve myself and make me more prepared for a future world career in promoting diversity. I am a twenty-two-year-old female candidate from a developed country in the European region (Italy). I have applied to your university into Business administration because it has a lot of benefit to me and the public which plays an important role in society. I have developed an interest in business since my secondary school years, and I want to be successful in a business project. All organizations in business today are able to stand the storm of the competitive global market because of good business strategy information. My dream is to become an expert in the field where I am working as a successful business manager in the very near future. I hope to take up challenges each time, to revive myself, add value to the company, constantly update myself with the latest technologies to move up in ladder, and also to pursue an MBA degree. I would achieve this through observations, practice, innovations, and dedication. Furthermore, my ambition is to work hard, gain more experience, win the confidence of my company, and become the best professional in my field. I believe in hard work. I wish to develop the skills required to fulfill my responsibilities to the organization thereby improving my efficiency in day to day work. I know it will also give me practical entrepreneurial skills help me to be able to handle my personal business in the future. I have a dream to operate my own business project/organization later in life, opening job opportunities for those in need. I would be very grateful for a dream come true if I become a successful business professional, and womanhood will also be grateful that an African girl can posses quality skills and knowledge in business administration. The reason I want to study in Norway is because studying in a foreign land is one of the best experiences one can ever have in a life time. Norway is a developed country, the universities have good facilities and a good environment for learning, and it has a very rich history. Norway is simply the best place, full of rich culture, and the degrees obtained are globally recognized. With these few details I have discovered I know Norway its simply a country that opens doors for everybody and it's worth living in. These are my ambitions in life and why I want to study in Norway.