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My girlfriend posted pictures of herself looking sexy in her bra. How upset should I be?

A couple of months ago I picked up the camera to take a picture and when I reviewed the images, I found what I thought were very sexy pictures of my girlfriend in her bra, looking in our bathroom mirror. I asked her when I saw them on the camera not to post them online and she said she wouldn't. She didn’t argue with me, she just said she wouldn’t. A few days later I saw that she had and I got upset. I told her that I thought seeing her in her underwear should be my privilege. Seeing her in her underwear in the privacy of my house should be my privilege. Having this out there breaks all of those walls. The privacy of our relationship, and the privacy of the home. I told she how bad it hurt and she said she understood, but that I was overreacting and this whole thing was stupid. She told me I was being unreasonable and childish and threw a big fit about taking them down. A couple of days later I found new pictures on the camera, again in her bra, making eyes at the camera seductively. Again. This time she told me she did it because I was not paying enough attention to her and that if I would take her out to show her off she wouldn't need to put these pictures out there for other men to make her feel good. I explained how bad this hurt my feelings and we talked about how I could do better. I admit that we don't go out very often and when we do it is usually out to dinner with the kids. Not exactly romantic, but I didn't think that justified do this behind my back and then telling me it was my fault when I was never told anything was wrong. The problem is I had to go out of town and while I was gone she was hanging out with her old "friend with benefits". I tried to just put it out of my mind and trust her but then she said his name in her sleep as she cuddled me. I got out of bed and checked my email. I was tagged in some pictures on her myspace. I logged in and looked at them and I found the picture of her in her underwear had been put BACK up, and she had even put comments on it to make it easy to find with a search engine. Any time anyone does a Google image search for her name, a picture of her in her underwear comes up. I told her again how I felt she had lied to me too many times and I really feel like my feelings don't matter to her. She took the picture down again but refuses to apologize because she doesn't think she did anything wrong and I should just be okay with it. She even told me the ways in which all of this was my fault. Maybe she is right but I don't think so. I do love her but my heart is broken from all the lies and this doesn't even address the issues I have with her secretly stalking my ex-wife from time to time. I know this is difficult to judge from only my point of view, but does it look like I'm overreacting here? Can I ever trust her again?

Public Comments

it depends who she posted the pics to and yes i will be angry
id be happy if i were u. sexy in a bra. why complain
Way the hell would she post one of her in her underware after u asked her not to . . .You should be upset
Hmmm not sure..... Post them for me to see and I'll tell you how upset you should be..... Kidding. Sounds like she is trying to get approval from **someone** outside the relationship. time to re-evaluate.
It's time to get rid of her dude. She obviously craves more attention than you want to give her. If she's doing all this stuff, even after you tell her you don't want her to, then that tells me she doesn't really care that much about you.
She is a stalker? Dump her immediately.
It seems she just wants you to pay more attention to her, maybe she thinks you don't find her sexy anymore.
Don't be too upset. ask her why did she do that? maybe attention? are you giving her the attention she needs? have a talk with her about it. try not to be too upset or you will scare her and she won't even want to talk. Just remain calm. Everything will work out.
well i kinda depends ..are they really really sexy??? if thier not i wouldnt worry can you tell me her name or send me a link jared90210@yahoo.com
Yup thats disrespectful
what what what u lost me after the first couple lines dude relax get drunk with ur mates
Get rid of her....sounds like she's boning the guy w/benefits anyways or she's trying to bone someone else. Either way, she's looking for something else anyway she can by the sounds of it. Obviously she doesn't care if your upset by it, only thing to do in my opinion is find a new girl of your own or just dump her. You'll find out about another dude eventually.
u should be mad at her. cus shes with u and not the world. only u should be able to see her with her clothes off. and u should tell her that
"I told her that I thought seeing her in her underwear should be my privilege." Sounds a little possessive to me.What if she decided she wanted to be an underwear model - would you still date her?
do you really like her? if you dont then dump her you shouldnt have to put up with this. if you do be the better person and say your sorry first! tell her that you dont like it and you might not be giving her enough attention she wants but right now its all you can give her. you have kids. and you dont want your kids thinking that way of her. just tell her that and see what she says.
well i cant tell you.you gotta think whats in your heart
She's not what your about, I would break up.
you are not overreacting, she's using you. id kick her the hell out my house. she's a whore sounds like to me. she should be happy with only you seeing that part of her. and thats childish of HER to want everyone else to see it. what woman in their right mind would show that to the world. she'll never get a decent job or be anything other then what she's already trying to be. you dont deserve that. you deserve better. you sound like a good man. with a bad a** woman. thats bull. she's rediculous. dump her. & prepare your heart. becuase thats not what you need. at all. this whole situation is a waist of your life.
It sounds like she is have some serious self confidence issues. It seems like she NEEDS people to be complimenting her... which is why she put the pictures up. Sure, ever girl loves it when she gets a compliment, but she's REALLY fishing for these compliments from random people. Talk to her about it. Make sure she knows that once things go on the internet, they're there forever. Future employers could see those. She's not going to want them up there eventually. If she honestly can't stop craving attention from other men, it's not worth your time. You need someone who is satisfied with you!
Have a talk with her. You have a right to be mad but communication is the key
I've seen the pics, I'd say no.
Yes, you should be mad at her. She did something after you asked her not to do it. Not only that she posted pictures of herself on myspace where everyone can see. You should talk to her about it and let her know it bothered you and ask her to take the pictures down. answer mine please?: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AurvqKW830qx7SkIKZj39N7sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090817113319AAQDtZJ
she is not so sexy so don't worry and by the way she has no bra on her chest I have seen those clips and I don't think u have seen those clearly.so check again. And r u sure that she has posted snaps on internet coz i have checked i found her porn but there were no snaps.
You have every right to be upset. It doesn't sound like your girlfriend really respects your feelings. She may be trying to make you jealous, or she just loves the attention she gets (from you and other men), but if you have repeatedly asked her NOT TO post the pictures, she should listen. Tell her it's not even about the pictures, though it hurts you that everyone gets to see what should be reserved only for you. Tell her it's about trust. Ask her how would she feel if you'd go and hang out with other girls you have a history with... ask her if she'd like you posting hot pictures of yourself, hoping to get comments from other women. Tell her you want to be able to trust her and that if she is unhappy with something in the relationship, she should tell you. Sit down and talk. Find out what she feels is missing, and let her know what's bothering you. Be calm and don't get into a fight, it won't help. But if she keeps doing this regardless of what you do, even after you talk with her, I'm not sure if she is worth your trust...
have fun http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuVIf3mxqKiiiUy5GK7iqjTD7BR.;_ylv=3?
Dude, she has obviously lied before so I think the foundation for your relationship is crumbling and there is nothing but drama and heartbreak in your future. Dump her and run!
ur asking a ho, to behave? She likes attention from men. She is not girlfriend material... and she is definitely not marriage material. Wtf are u looking for in this girl? dump her ass. I see problems in ur future.
She seems like an attention seeker from what ive heard. she doesnt like to blame herself...=/ thats not good - the fact that she put these pictures up in the first place whether you told her beforehand not to, is bad enough. confront her and ask her if shes done anything else behind your back. look for any proof though before you ask her so that you can use that against her. if you ask her straight out, shell assume that youve been doubting her and then shell have ANOTHER fit and rant about how you dont trust her...lol and she might do something worse after that hope this helps - CONFRONT!! :]
No-one with kids and a boyfriend takes pics of themselves and posts them on internet. Thats dirty. I think you should take this very seriously. She lied to you. She put in-descent pics of herself on to the internet. There is either someone outside the relashionship she is trying to reach. Also who stalks their boy-friends ex-wife?
wow. you have a very difficult situation on your hands...well, from what i understand is that your wife feels like she isn't getting enough attention from you, so by taking "sexy" pictures of herself and posting them on the internet she feels she is at least getting attention by SOMEONE ... so, in my opinion what you should do is maybe have a night alone with her. give the kids to a close family friend or relative for a day or two. just hangout with her, take her out to dinner or a movie. stay at home and have some fun ;) .... that's practically all you can do. and i understand that you are angry about the situation but you have to understand how she feels to...hope i helped...
She feels that she has a right to show off her body to whoever she wants. You believe that you both have an obligation only to show off your bodies to each other. If you really want to make this relationship work, maybe you need to sit down together (maybe even look into couples counseling, there may be free services available in your county), and decide as a couple what you can do to make it work. Maybe she agrees to only let you see her body, and you agree to getting someone to watch the kids once every few weeks so you two can have a date night (If you know another couple with kids, offer to take turns babysitting so they can also have a night without the kids every now and then). If neither of you is willing to compromise on any of your issues, you need to call it quits. By telling you that her actions are your fault, she is a) emotionally blackmailing you and b) acting very immaturely. We are all responsible for our own actions, no matter how others may impact our decision making.
Your gf is in the wrong and does not seem to care that it bothers you.She is looking for the wrong kind of attention and is disrespecting you.Trust her again,well I doubt it as she keeps doing it.Why would she want some strange person to see her body.What else could she be hiding from you ?You have a serious problem and it needs to be settled before things get out of hand.Maybe you should think about your relationship a little harder and ask her
I think that you should be upset! You are not at fault here at all..... maybe with the whole attention thing but if she felt that way she should have just told you instead of put pictures up! and the whole picture thing you should never put pictures up like that even if you are single cuz no offense to your Girlfriend not saying she is a slut but that is slutty becuase you are right you body should be for your significant other not for random people to find you maybe she is insecure with herself and feels like if she puts up pictures and gets alot of commnets then it makes her feel better so just give her as much attention and comment about how sexy she is and how beautiful..... actuallly take pictures of her yourself and give her alot of attention maybe this will help and make her not want to post any pictures online anymore!! Good luck!!
You have the answer. She doesn't care about you, your feelings and worse, she doesn't care about the relation that both have... or had. She's only concerned about herself. Well, that's what she says through her actions. Now I make a question that you can answer to yourself: do you think is it normal a girl, who has a bf, show herself wearing underwear? Jesuscrist!! That's wrong, absolutely! What will she do next? Have you thought of that? It's time to let her go. Good luck ;-)
your not over reacting. i posted a picture of me on myspace of just my boobs and abs, no bra, but had a shirt covering enough for it to be legal on myspace. at first it was just to my boyfriend, and he said it was real sexxy, and i sent him another one when the shirt wasnt buttoned, and i covered up just enough so it woulsnt be too reaviling. and i only sent those pics to him. he didnt tell me not to post them online, but what im saying is, is that if he thinks its sexxy, then alot of people would think its sexxy, and i was right, and i loved the attention, then he saw i posted the first one where the shirt was buttoned(the second picuture showed more abs) and he was"aw im sad now...i thought this was for my eyes only, like i thought i was special since were going out" and i felt bad, and i deleted the picture, but we do that cuz we love the attention, and i think that you should call "shotgun" on a couple of pictures and let her put some other ones online, just not the ones you called shotgun. and tell her how heart broken you are from the lies, if you tell her how you really feel, whether its bad, sad, or anthing, if your nice about it, shell appretiacte it. and dont lie to her. jst tell her the truth straight up. everything, how you feel and how you think you should solve this problem, and make a compromise(the "shotgun" plan) if she doesnt and wants the control of the relationship, you really have to tell her how one person cant control the realtionship, and that your not happy with it.
i think she just want your attention cuz that's how we are try to give her attention maybe spend more times together and see what did she missed....
You girlfriend sounds like this goofy chick I used to live with back in the 1980's. She was beautiful and I loved her, but she used to screw everything that moved. Like your girlfriend she would also lie all the time about everything; real obvious lying too because people who do that sort of thing never seem to be very good at it. At any rate, she wasn't the voyeur that your girlfriend is probable because she wasn't an egomaniac like your girlfriend is; she was just a slut. It is funny. Most of the women readers will miss the point that your girlfriend is an egomaniac. They might even agree with your girlfriends notion that in some way this is "your" fault. That's OK, and it should be OK for you too; the reason being that in my 43 years I have come to understand that women in most cases are absolutely NUTS. They really are. Why else would they spend $700.00 a year on heels and shoes then wear flip flops 24/7, 365 days a year. Why else would they think yogurt tastes good and is indispensable for weight lose when they only weigh 110 lbs. already. Why else would they think they have to call everyone they know to inform them of the always important developments of how they: just left the house, they are buying stamps at the post office, or maybe a 2 hour riveting conversation of last nights episode of sex in the city. Your girlfriend is no different and you can't change her. All as you can do is change yourself or break up with her. You won't be able to change her so don't even try. People are aways trying to change other people unsuccessfully. Girls try to change guys who need changing always without success. Guys try to change girls who need changing always without success. Both guys and girls will always scream, 'HOW DARE YOU try to change me!' This is because they never see any thing wrong with themselves ( and they end up being backed up only by their own gender). Good luck.
The more serious issue here is that she is blaming you for her actions. She is looking for the wrong kind of attention, an if she has a self esteem issue she might not realize it. She needs to get help or you need to roll out. If you don't have trust what do you have?
She seems to either feel neglected/insecure or she is looking for approval from some one. I would be furious and certainly wouldn't trust my husband if he did something like that. I don't think you are over reacting there is a real problem here and you need to get to the bottom of it, but it isn't all your fault she shouldn't have done what you did and then she went and lied about it, the thing with lies is they eventually get found out. Why don't you try and get some free time with just the two of you, is there parents, grandparents that could watch the kids, you mention an ex-wife, are the kids hers/yours and do you just get them at weekends or something, sorry about asking that, i am just trying to say isn't there a time where the two of you can have some alone time, a weekend away or a night out on the town. If its attention she wants maybe once every month or two do something special together. Even a bottle of wine, you cook her a nice meal and sit and listen to the music you both like or a soppy video, something special. If none of these is what she wants maybe its time to move on, especially if she wont give you an honest answer and a real promise that she wont do it again. Good luck.
Time to move on. Post her picture on craigslist and put her email address so she can receive plenty of attention from men that she desires.