Natwerk Designs

Just 4 fun, can you write a MYSTERY that includes at least 5 of these lines?

1. The deranged butler whistled a merry tune as he skipped out of the room. 2. I know! Let's have a seance! 3. I think we are in a real pickle..... My name is Helga...... I don't work Thursdays. 4. Now let's see.....a dead body is in the conservatory, paintings have been stolen and the gardener is talking to the pansies. 5. HGTV refused to showcase this house.... something about spooks in the kitchen. 6. As the coyote strolled into the livingroom ......... 7. You smell like a gym sock and your tattoos are a bit frightening. 8. AHA!!! A secret staircase! 9. What in the name of all that is holy did you just say?!!! 10. You don't seem to realize the cosmic importance of this.

Public Comments

1. I bet you could. That sounds like fun. It'd be pretty funny to read, depending on how you used them.
2. 1. Ssssh! Listen! 2. The only way I would go to the cellar would be if the U.S. Marine Corps was with me! 3. But detective, I thought you said ___________. 4. The sound of breaking twigs filled the air. 5. Whiskey is NOT the answer! 6. RIGHT NOW!!! 7. A seance? You MUST be joking. 8. My migraine is threatening to kill me. 9. Is your will in order? 10. You must be some kind of crazy to go out there alone. Silva had gone over to Sunshine's new place to bring her a housewarming gift only to find her on the front lawn yelling at a man in a trench coat! "But detective, I thought you said you were bringing back-up!!" The man in the trench coat sighed deeply. "NO! What I said is 'I'm thinking that's enough!!' , you have called the Department four times tonight and every time was a false alarm!" Sunshine scowled! "FINE!! I will not call you again…next time I'lll just let the ghost kill me!! As she turned on her heel and prepared to march back into the house Silva caught up with her while the irate detective stormed off. "What is going on here??" Sunshine grabbed her and ushered her into the house, Silva was amazed at how homey and cozy the new place looked! "What was that all about out there? Sunshine pulled her into the kitchen. "Where do I start?!! My migraine is threatening to kill me, the heating switch is in the cellar, and this house has a ghost!!!!" Silva laughed. "Slow down….surely you don't believe in ghosts…and isn't it kind of chilly in here??" Sunshine glared at her as if she were a moron! "Yes I do believe in ghosts, and yes it is chilly, and the only way I would go to the cellar to turn up the heat would be if the U.S. Marine Corps was with me!" Silva was about to respond when suddenly the sound of breaking twigs filled the air. Sunshine hissed, "Ssssh! Listen!" Silva traced the sound and promptly marched down to the basement where she knew the sound was coming from, seeing nothing but a big fat rat! She gave him the evil eye and he scurried off into a corner while she turned up the thermostat! Sunshine, however, was not satisfied with the rat story saying that there was NO way a rat could have been doing all that was going on! Her idea was to have a seance to have a face to face meeting with the ghost! Silva was of a more practical nature! "A seance? You MUST be joking!!" She looked for the liquor cabinet while she considered sunshine's suggestion. Sunshine grabbed the unopened bottle of Seagram's out of her hands. "Whiskey is NOT the answer!" Silva grabbed it back! "Like hell it's not!! She poured herself a tall one straight and mixed up a whiskey sour for her friend. As they sipped their drinks they heard a sound like thumping that seemed to be up on the roof! Silva quickly poured another round! "That seance may not be a bad idea after all……but before we talk about that…open up your housewarming gift RIGHT NOW!!! Sunshine opened the nicely wrapped package…it was a DVD of GHOST BUSTERS!!!!!!!. Thank you! It was to get away from my studies and write something fun…nice phrases!! Report Abuse no i can't answer that! but here's another what's bigger than god the poor have it and the rich need it | | | ||| | ||| the answer is NOTHING!!!:P NOTHING is bigger than God the poor have NOTHING and the rich need NOTHING nah, im not doing your homework.
3. Detective Jill is investigating a million dollar robbery case from the house of Dr.Ben. Detective: Dr.Ben so when did this robbery occur? Dr.Ben: Last Thursday.. Detective: How..do you have any clue, who would've done this? Dr.Ben: Well, HGTV wanted to showcase our house on that day, but they refused to showcase it, telling us about spooks in our kitchen. Detective: Oh..I see, who was at the house at the time? Dr.Ben: No one.. Detective: No one? What about the cook? Dr.Ben: Her name is Helga... Detective: Where is she now? Helga: My name is Helga....I don't work on Thursdays. MYSTERY CONTINUES....did Helga do the robbery or someone else?
4. MURDER AT MUSTARD MANOR “Confound it, Watkins!! Is that all you do? Sit around all day watching HGTV?” asked Sherlock Bones, the famed Scotland Yard detective, to his long-time companion, Dr. Watkins, as he entered their London flat. “But you don’t understand,” protested Watkins. “HGTV REFUSED TO SHOWCASE THIS HOUSE.....SOMETHING ABOUT SPOOKS IN THE KITCHEN.” “And yet, here they are........showing it on TV!!” exclaimed Bones, dismissively. “YOU DON’T SEEM TO REALIZE THE COSMIC IMPORTANCE OF THIS....... HGTV is saying ghosts are real! They wouldn’t have said there were spooks in the kitchen if they didn’t believe it to be true.” “Oh! I wouldn’t go that far, Bones,” declared Watkins. “This is just a repeat of their 'Halloween Special' show.” Well, all righty then!” answered Bones. “Nonetheless, you could make yourself a little more useful around here other than vegging out in front of the TV. Or, perhaps you could take a walk through the Moors or something. Any phone messages?” “Inspector LeStride of Scotland Yard called about an hour ago,” replied Watkins. “AHA!!! A SECRET STAIRCASE!!” Watkins cried, excitedly pointing to the television set, spellbound by HGTV’s 'Halloween Special' house. “And now, not so secret!” deduced Sherlock rather impatiently, brushing some imaginary lint off his sleeve. “Anyone that watches this channel knows about it! Now about those phone messages....What did LeStride say?” “NOW LET’S SEE”.....Watkins put on his thinking cap, so to speak, and tried to recall what LeStride had actually said. “Drat! Should've written it fdown! ..... Oh! Yeah! He’s over at Col. Mustard’s mansion, and needs you to come there at once to consult on a case. A DEAD BODY IS IN THE CONSERVATORY, PAINTINGS HAVE BEEN STOLEN AND THE GARDENER IS TALKING TO THE PANSIES.” “Ye Gods, Watkins!” exclaimed Bones impatiently. “Why didn’t you tell me right away? I must leave at once!” “Take me with you......you said I needed to do something besides watch TV,” begged Watkins. “I will if you change out of that ridiculous frilly pink peignoir,” replied Bones, as he looked for his magnifying glass. “Bring your medicine bag. You may be of some assistance in your doctor capacity.” As bones and Watkins drove over to Col. Mustard’s mansion, Watkins announced that he didn’t spend all his time watching HGTV. Sometimes, he watched Animal Planet. “For instance, do you know the difference between a coyote and a wolf or a dog?” “Besides, the obvious differences in appearance and coloration, you can watch its tail when it runs. The coyote runs with its tail down. Dogs run with their tails up, and wolves run with their tails straight out,” Watkins continued, proud of himself for having learned something by watching TV. “Obviously, I knew that by my powers of observation,” replied Bones imperiously. “You could have also readily observed first hand these same animals running through the Moors.” As they walked up the sidewalk to the Mustard Mansion, the muscular tattooed gardener was busily trimming the hedges. Then, he threw down the shears, and put his hands over his ears as he screamed, “Shut up, pansies! I can’t take any more of your snide comments and accusations!” Noticing the visitors on the grounds, the gardener asked Bones and Watkins if he could be of any assistance. “YOU SMELL LIKE A GYM SOCK AND YOUR TATTOOS ARE A BIT FRIGHTENING,” replied Watkins, “but nevertheless, I find you strangely irresistible.” “They call me ‘The Coyote,” replied the gardener as he nervously introduced himself. “Bones and Watkins here,” replied Sherlock. “We’ve come to investigate a possible homicide and theft of some paintings.” The Coyote walked them to the front door and rang the doorbell. The Butler immediately answered the bell, and welcomed the duo into the residence. “Welcome to Mustard Manor,” the Butler intoned, as he deeply bowed his seven-foot frame, revealing that he wore nothing beneath his kilt, “commando style.” Even stranger, was the bagpipe he wore at the ready on his hip. Sherlock explained to the Butler that they were there to meet with Inspector LeStride regarding certain events that had transpired. “Follow me into the conservatory,” replied the Butler. THE DERANGED BUTLER WHISTLED A MERRY TUNE AS HE SKIPPED OUT OF THE ROOM, accompanying himself on the bagpipe. ♫ And whistle while you work. ♪ Come on, get smart, tune up, and start to whistle while you work. ♫ “Isn’t that a coincidence that the gardener is called ‘The Coyote,’” whispered Watkins to Bones. “We were just talking about coyotes.” “Coyotes love to eat regurgitated food,” replied Bones. “Why do you mention that?” asked Watkins, curiously. “Oh! Just that if you need someone to lap up vomit, he’s your guy,” joked Bones. When Bones and Watkins greeted LeStride, in the conservatory, the inspector confirmed that the deceased was indeed Col. Mustard. Dr. Watkins examined the body and concurred that Col. Mustard was indeed dead, and estimated he had died within the last two or three hours because rigor mortis was not complete. “I KNOW, LET’S HAVE A SEANCE!” suggested Watkins. “Why would we want to do that?” inquired Inspector LeStride. “So, Col. Mustard can tell us who stabbed him,” replied Watkins, noting that the deceased had bled profusely from an apparent knife wound to his jugular vein. “It appears he bled to death.” “That won’t be necessary!” declared Bones. “I already know who killed Col. Mustard.” “WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DID YOU JUST SAY?!!!” asked Inspector LeStride. “How could you possibly know that with so few clues?” “Gather all of the staff and any others in the house into the livingroom, and I will solve this crime,” directed Bones. “Have your handcuffs at the ready!” As everybody was assmbling in the livingroom, the pretty blonde maid, standing next to Dr. Watkins, turned to him and confided, “I THINK WE ARE IN A REAL PICKLE.... MY NAME IS HELGA...... I DON’T WORK THURSDAYS.” AS ‘THE COYOTE’ STROLLED INTO THE LIVINGROOM, Bones announced, “Arrest that man! By my powers of deductive reasoning and astute observation, it is my belief that the gardener killed Col. Mustard in the conservatory with his garden shears.” “When we first observed the gardener, he was conversing with the flowers.....telling them to stop making accusations. In his crazed mind, the pansies were accusing him of the crime he had just committed. I also noted the tip of one of the blades of his shears had fresh blood on it,” Bones continued. ”LeStride, if you will have Forensics check the shears, I believe they will confirm this to be true, and of the same blood type as Col. Mustard. Also, I noted the stolen paintings were hidden between the front hedges and the house..... Col Mustard may have met his demise because he caught the gardener stealing the paintings. Elementary!!” Whistle While You Work...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-_3CLDUywQ