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Do women realize that their past relationships do matter to a guy?

I am interested in starting a dialogue with this question Do women realize that their past relationships do matter to a guy? everybody wants to find their "perfect mate" and good luck to all, you deserve it my question is, is that it seems american women like to hook up with "bad boys" (ie druggies drunks etc.) sleep with an excessive amount of them...build their personal numbers up high, have children out of wedlock, basically make themselves very undesirable as a "perfect mate " . After they "ruin" their lives, they want to find a "nice guy" to pick up the pieces and try to fix their lives. I have had alot of replies from women saying that pasts do not matter. This is not true. Most of us feel that women who sleep with alot of men will always sleep with alot of men. This is a small world, and like it or not...everyone knows what everyone does. Even if the girl doesn't tell you their "number" (most of them do, because they think it will make you closer), their friends or family usually end up saying too much around their boyfriends/husbands. We find out even if we don't want to, so it can't be hidden I gave up on what I saw as the available "singles pool" here, moved to Germany and found a good wife. For all of you who want to know "how do i know", I really took the time to know this girl, and I found out everything from her and family and friends. I let her know what was important to me in a realtionship. I just want to know people opinions on how we can improve this trend, that is ruining the american family. Check this link out.. http://www.innovations-report.com/html/r... Additional Details This subject does matter to me. I moved back to the States and I see this as one of the things destroying this country. to answer IB-W**** yes, it does suck for nice guys. To all the women that think i played a bunch of girls before being married....I am a nice guy...I did not build up my numbers, and the dating problem was because of not meeting women with morals This question does not really relate to the younger women ( high school and younger) but it might be a valuable thing to think about... you ARE the future. And like it or not, the future of the american family falls heavily on the behavior of our women.

Public Comments

1. ya
2. The past should remain the past as long as you have been safe and you have learned from your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and does things that they are not proud of when they mature, but if you honestly learn from them and do not repeat them, you will be a stonger person from having gone through them.
3. It goes both ways.
4. so are you saying it is ok for a man and not a woman. and not every american woman is that way and a lot who made mistakes in the past have learned from them grew up and are not the same type of person they were before.
5. the thing is we do but we just don't want to admit it its fun for us to hook up with a bad boy but yea if your the right guy and stuff we wont do that same stuff that we have "accomplished' in our past we will treat you with respect because we know we love you and yes we realize it
6. I think you're a pom pus jackass. When a guy does the same thing, everyone says he's a stud, a girl does it and she's a damaged whore? Go back to Germany or better yet...mind your own business.
7. People lack morals and self-respect.
8. I am a woman and I so agree with you, but also feel the same can apply to men. I don't want to know that the man I met has been with 50 women, has 3 kids by 3 girls, and isn't in any of the lives of those children. I think there is nothing wrong with wanting the perfect mate, and waiting until you find her. Something is really wrong with our society and you can see it here in this forum, where 13, 14, 15, 16, year old guys and girls are sleeping around. What is the point of that? Why do it, just to do it? Love comes into play for me, but then I am 54, and old fashioned. Happy that you found your someone special - good luck to you! For all those out there still looking, read this post several times, and stop sleeping around.
9. it really does suck for the nice guys doesnt it. . .
10. "sleep with an excessive amount of them...build their personal numbers up high, have children out of wedlock, basically make themselves very undesirable as a "perfect mate " All of the above takes a guy (well, lots of them, actually) as well. If there are "nice" guys, there are certainly as many "nice" girls. If you're not willing to hold your own gender accountable for their actions, don't try to say that "the future of the american family falls heavily on the behavior of our women." If you're so concerned about a woman's past, that's gonna narrow the dating pool for you. Too bad. That's life: the pickier you are, the harder it is to get what you want. It's not a bad thing to have high standards, certainly, but don't complain about the consequences of them.
11. It seems to me this question is more of a statement of your personal tastes than an actual question. Perhaps past choices are something of an indicator of present character, but I don't think it is an ideal or preferable indicator. It is better to get to know a woman enough that you can make an informed opinion about her in the here and now. Perhaps you have unreasonable expectations with regards to partners. Either way, I don't see this as an issue that's tearing the country apart. True, divorce rates are much higher now than 50 years ago, but then, that's more of a realization of the age of enlightenment and a shedding of old culture. I've always been a bit skeptical about the value of marriage and the appropriateness of it to human society.
12. My husband and I both chose to not have "past lives" but to wait to have sex until we were married. That sounds archaic to a lot of people, but it means a lot of "baggage" that we never had to deal with and test results that we never had to worry about. How did we find each other? By being the kind of person we each wanted to meet and hanging out with other like-minded people. That means we didn't meet at a bar, club, or party. Too many people have bought into the lie that what they do now won't affect their future. The truth is that everything we do matters and sexual behavior often has life-long consequences for individuals and society as a whole.
13. I totally agree with you, but I think you are talking to deaf ears. As long as the TV shows are based on ratings the teens are going to idolize such sluts as Anna Nichole Smith and Paris Hilton and the girls on those high school shows where if you are having sex at 13 you are a social misfit. If you just look at the questions here on Yahoo Answers you will realize that most of the 14 and 15 year olds think they are deeply in love and having sex on a regular basis. Are they ready to be parents? No, that won't happen to them. Do they think they can catch STDs? No that won't happen to them.
14. Nice, in puttting all the blame on females. Im sorry, but u are a jerk n are not a real nice guy. SO men can do whatever they want but a girl does the same thing n she's damaged goods? Who are you to tell females how to live their lives in the land of the free? What trend; why do u think some of the girls who "are sluts"{or were} (as u are implying) become sluts? huh? Everyone had a different upbringing. Different struggles, n obsticles in life they had to go through, n so what if they didnt make the right desicions when they were younger; everyone makes mistakes n learns from them; N no, i dont sleep around. N I dont have a kid out of wedlock; For myself i believe i shouldnt have sex until marriage (well wait that got ruined cause of a guy that didnt understand the word NO;;hmmm think about other females in the U.S... oh, since i was raped; does that mean i am damaged goods to u??).. But IF i so happened to get pregnant, no matter what, i would raise the child n not have an abortion or give it up; in my opinion thats just wrong n cruel n i could never do that Who are u to judge anyone? "U Tell Me I Sin, U Say Im Bound For Hell So Once Ur Judgement Condems U, I SHALL C U THERE"
15. I agree that many people have low morals today, but it happens in both men and women. Women are just the ones left with the babies and the stigma of having slept around while men are treated differently. The whole situation is unfortunate.
16. I doubt that you and your wife were both virgins when you got married. Real MEN realize that a woman had a life long BEFORE she met them. No one is "perfect". If you claim you or your mate is, you're lying to yourself.